Lately, I’ve been comparing myself to others…A LOT! There are so many amazing women who are creating stunning pieces of art, who are empowering fellow babes, who are travelling and living what looks like “the dream,” and I feel like I’m miles away from that. I see all these “girl bosses” and female entrepreneurs who are crushing it, and I’m sitting in my kitchen looking at my to-do list, wondering how I’ll get it all done. This comparison is negatively impacting my life. I see the harmful way its changing my self-image, and enough is enough.
I am enough. You are enough. Of course we will look bad if we compare the strengths of others to our weaknesses, and even if we are comparing strengths, there will always be someone better. In addition to destroying our self-confidence, comparison can also lead us to resent others, sometimes before we even meet them in person! Comparing our lives to others isn’t benefiting anyone, so here’s what we can do to nip in the bud.
How to Break the Habit of Comparison
I’m aware that I compare myself to others (especially when I’m on Instagram.) That’s the first step. You need to realize you’re doing it. We often don’t even realize what we’re doing until these feelings become overwhelming, so work on bringing these thoughts to the forefront of your mind. You have to be aware every time you compare yourself to others.
Once you know you’re doing it, you can work on stopping it. Take a moment. You’re not bad for having that thought. Don’t berate yourself, but recognize that it happened so you can gently change your focus.
You know what’s a better focus? All the amazing blessings you have! Think about all the things you already possess, not what you don’t. Think of your supportive spouse, your beautiful children, a fulfilling career, the roof over your head, a loving family or anything else that’s a blessing in you life. Think about how lucky you are to have these things. You’re here on this earth, breathing, living, experiencing the world. That in and of itself is a blessing.
We need to focus on our strengths, too. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished and what you’re good at. I know you have strengths. I do too, and I often fail to recognize them. We need to celebrate those strengths!
BONUS TIP: It’s ok to be imperfect. We’re human begins. It’s literally in our nature to mess up. We all know we’re imperfect, but emotionally, it can feel a lot different. You’re never going to be perfect, and these people we’re comparing ourselves too aren’t perfect either, no matter what their lives look like.
Since we’re trying to live a more positive lifestyle, avoid criticizing others. We often bring others down in an attempt to raise ourselves up, but that’s not beneficial. Your creating an enemy where you could have a friend, and – here’s a little tough love – but you look like a giant jerk when you only knock others down. Let’s lift each other up! Let’s support the success of others, which will actually lead to our own success.
Your Journey through Life is not a Competition
Life isn’t a competition with other people. It’s a journey where we’re just trying to be the best versions of ourselves as possible. We want to find new things, go on adventures, explore, create and learn. There’s no room for comparison in this journey. There’s no time to focus on what others are doing or what others have. Life is short. There’s only enough time to focus on what we want and where we want to go.
If we constantly want what other people have, how will we ever have enough? Comparison is an endless cycle that never ends happily. Be on the quest for contentment. That’s the only way to truly be happy with what we have. I just looked at everything I have – a loving husband, a wonderful family, a cute home, a career I’m passionate about, and enough financial stability to do fun things (and more!)…that should be enough. That is enough! If my life changes in the future, and I’m sure it will, those changes will be enough, as well.
Moving forward, I’m going to be more aware of my blessings, and I’m going to take a breather every time I catch myself comparing my life to others. I hope you found something helpful in this blog post so you can do the same. In the long run, we will lead much happier lives if we find contentment with what we have. I’m enough, and you’re enough, and that’s what really matters!
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